Posted by: yemenia68 | February 20, 2009

Do “compatible couples” actually exist?

romeo-and-juliet-dvdcover

Yes, you read it clearly. The question is “do compatible couples actually exist?” By this I mean true love in which two people love each other unconditionally and the relationship lasts a lifetime. I read about these  relationships all the time, but do they really exist in real life? Another question is “Is true love determined by compatiblity?”

I know what you’re thinking by now, and no I’m not from another planet.
First of all, how do we define compatible when we’re dealing with relationships? I ask this question because I know that some people say that “opposites attract”, so does that conflict with compatibility? Maybe that means that not everyone agrees on what is critical in maintaining a successful relationship. Have I confused you? well join the line cuz I dont know what the heck triggered all this confusion. Actually I do, I was watching “underworld-the rise of the lycans” and I thought to myself “why is it that  true love always has to end so tragically?”

I know one thing for sure, every love story in history, (well, actually the ones that I’ve read) end tragically. What does that tell you? That tells you that true love was never meant to be, thats what it tells ya.

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Responses

  1. Compatiblity is determined by hard work and daily choices to love and respect even when you don’t feel like it.

    In addition, agood thing to do to insure a successful marriage is not base ideas on true love from movies. 🙂

  2. For me it been 10 years and still going

  3. kinziblogs and hamede, thank you both for passing by 🙂

    I definately agree with you kinzi, the movies actually provide us with false illusions of what true love is. You are right, compatibility is something that is gained by making sacrifices, respecting each other, and working hard to go beyond the inevitable obsticles of any relationship.
    That’s why I say “true love” as it is presented in movies or books does not exist.

  4. Absolutely! 🙂
    Compatibility is way more important than anything else

  5. Hamede, mabrook 🙂
    allah yedemha 3alaikum

    My parents have been together for 45 years and they are still going strong too.
    I dont know, these days it seems so much harder for people to maintain postive relationships. What makes it more difficult for Arab-Americans in my opinion is the cultural gap between the ones raised in America and the ones raised in the middle east, this is just my opinion, I’m not saying that all arab-americans are having the some trouble with their relationships.

  6. Qwaider:

    The thing is, “acheiving” compatibility takes the effort of both parties in a relationship and unfortunatly, some are not willing to make any sacrifices.

  7. I think Compatibility can’t be achieved. It should ALREADY be there. If it’s not there, forget it. It will never happen. People can learn to coexist but can’t become compatible it’s just not possible.
    Anything that requires too much work is being done wrong. Maintaining a relationship shouldn’t be rocket science. If the relationship isn’t at least self sustaining with minor tuning from time to time. Then there are other major problems

    That’s what happens when you don’t have compatibility. It requires too much work

  8. Well, that really depends on the means in which the relationship develops. When you have a relationship where two people have the opportunity to get to know each other before marriage, then the presence of compatibility can be determined before the actual marriage.
    On the other hand, when you are in an arranged marriage then you have no choice but to try and “achieve” compatibility (which I know sounds absolutely ridiculous), because you have no other choice and trust me, sometimes the relationship actually works out.
    My parents for example are two completely different individuals, who argue more than they agree, nevertheless, they still stuck together for almost 50 years now. Let’s just say that it is not “compatibility” but “living in harmony” that actually does the trick in some cases.
    To be honest, I am really confused on this issue although I do have my personal opinions.

  9. We actually agree. People manage to find ways to “live with it”. That’s still not compatibility. It can’t be developed, it can’t be achieved.
    Now some people might take some time to realize that they are compatible. But that means they’re already compatible they just didn’t know it yet

    Anyway .. 🙂

  10. well, it depends. You have to take into consideration the version of the release and the architecture of the hardware to determine compatibility. However, with some open source hard work (not the same hard work Kinzi referred to), there should be a work around!

  11. I agree, I don’t think that couples should be fully compatible, they can share lots of common stuff, the ones that they care about, but I don’t think that one should be looking for a person with the same interests, it’ll be like having a replicate, I’m with the idea that one should look for someone who has new things to offer for the other person’s life.

  12. Thank you gentlemen for expressing your opinions. I appreciate your insight.

    Qwaider:
    Is that scientific fact……..just kidding.
    We can be a little flexible when it comes to personal experiences. Although we all know that compatible means “capable in existing together in harmony”, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it can not be achieved in the long run.

    mab3oos:
    الله يرضى عليك يا ابني من وين جبتلنأ
    (hardware and architecture)
    we are talking about human relationships……..lol
    just kidding with you….I know what you mean……I think
    You are absolutely adorable, you remind me of my son Moe. 🙂

    Ulysses:
    I agree that some people prefer having different interests, that kinda adds adventure and exploration to the mix, therefore giving it more spice. That really depends on the mental flexibility of both parties. Some people prefer the exact opposite.

    The bottom line is different people have different choices and opinions about relationships.

  13. I think i can simply boil it down to 3 things
    communication, trust, and forgiveness.
    thats what would create compatibility. you need to be able to communicate to reach compatibility (we might think we have it but we have to all work to achieve it, unless we play along the predetermined roles and duties and thats why marriages in the past lasted longer because they didn’t have to negotiate their roles and duties).
    With good communication, rises an issue of trust. if there is no trust a relationship won’t last long. since no one is perfect we all make mistakes and we should be able to forgive our significant other. The easier you are able to achieve those 3 traits the more compatible you are in my opinion.
    On the other hand there is such a thing as love …

  14. You know I’ll have to admit BamBam, the second part of your comment is what my mother always tells me. She said that in the past women knew the exact role to take in a marriage, but that nowadays we are trying to take the role of men and we want them to comprimise with us on sharing our “duties”.
    In this day and age, when you’re living in an environment and society where one source of income just doesn’t pay off your bills and resposibilities, it is in the households best interest to have another source of income, dont you think. (I truly believe that this issue, working women, is a major conflict between a lot of couples)
    btw, I like to analyze the personalities or characteristics of people I meet, right now I’m working on yours…………hehehe (phsycology is my favorite subject)
    I leave my final conclusion to myself though, so dont bother to ask 🙂

  15. Actually i love doing that myself and i would love to hear it. partly because i enjoy hearing how people perceive me in contrast with the way i view myself 😀 so i’ll be honored if you fill me in on it

  16. Bambam:

    InshAllah I will, but I need more time. It is a bit harder to analyze people online because you can only deal with a very insignificant aspect of their identity. I say that because you only see what the other person wants you to see, you can never be sure if that individual is sincere or not about everything they “write”, but once there is more interaction, the picture gets clearer, therefore, you get a better perspective on that individual.
    I hope you dont have a problem with my conclusion, I can be very critical you know………….just kidding 🙂

  17. my contributions to your analysis in case you missed them :
    http://bambamworld.com/blog/?cat=12
    http://bambamworld.com/blog/?cat=20

  18. Actually, “Capable to exist together in harmony” is not compatibility. That’s coexistence.

    When people are compatible this doesn’t mean that they’re being peaceful or live in harmony. In fact, they might have the most volatile relationship but still be compatible. 🙂

    Anyway, can I interest you in changing it to “Naseeb”? 🙂

  19. Ok khalas, we can consider it “naseeb” because that is exactly what it is.
    I was just trying to get some insight on other people’s opinions. 🙂

  20. Bambam:

    Your analysis is going to take longer than I thought.
    Like I said, the more I know about you, the more confused I get……..lol 🙂


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